Jealousy
from Beautiful Movements added 10 July, 2009 at 03:45 PM
The ugly head of jealousy pops into everyone’s life from time to time. Learn how to control it, what jealousy means, and what it will do over time. In the search for happiness most everyone wants to find love. I can relate to that. But the only way to find the love of your life is to up your game in and out of a relationship. Attraction is on many different levels and there are many ways to attract the girl or guy of your dreams.
When entering a relationship everyone is always on their best behavior, only showing the characteristics we think the guy or girl will like in order to attract a potential mate. Once we start feeling comfortable, around 6 months or so, we develop an obscure feeling of entitlement to that person. Now the ugly head of jealousy begins to reveal as our true emotions start to show. Amicably we claim an identity of a professional detective.
Snooping through their stuff searching for clues, checking their email or phone for odd messages, and calling a million times when they are hanging with their friends. Every time the phone rings late at night we become alert, suspicious and ready to crack the case. Ultimately we are choosing to create our relationship doomsday. These negative emotions are red alerts to reevaluate your life.
Everything we feel towards other people, are reflections of what is going on inside ourselves. When our mind is out of control we project our insecurities onto others. The more you feel inadequate in life the more jealous you are prone to feel in a relationship. This mental state of feeling unlovable will create an instinctual threat towards anyone posing as a potential mate stealer in your own reality. Learning to control your mind is how to keep your jealous self in check.
Stability of the mind allows you to make positive choices in every situation. Our emotions are the vehicles of self-discovery. You have the choice to create an emotional roller coaster or become an independent and empowered individual. Which would you rather date? Connection, friendship, and the ability to grow together are secrets to relationship success. Be open and honest in every relationship and friendship. Whenever your mind gets the best of you practice putting your thoughts into words. Speak using “I” instead of “you”. “I noticed you stayed out late last night, I assume you were hanging with the guys, is their anything I should worry about?”
The more work you put into being the best you, you can be the higher your mate rate will become. Passion in life and acceptance in you will lead to endless conversation and smiles when interacting with others. Once you have cracked the case in loving life, everything you’ve ever wanted will quickly manifest into your positive reality. Don’t settle for less then your best and put your jealous self to rest. You are powerful beyond belief and have the ability to create whatever reality you choose. Be the detective in your own life and acknowledge what jealousy has to do with you. Crack the case and put an end to negative banter of the mind.
“You are the ruler of your own world and create your destiny”
kimberlykaye
wrote 4 months and 11 days ago
Comments
QuiQue
Zoee said 4 months and 5 days ago:
It's true the green eyed moster gets us all at some point
I think in realatonships you should be able to have the freedom and trust between each other and if your partner is faithful surley doesn't that mean they are the 'one'
I'm not to sure i have never experienced love yet we are all still young
love comes and go's
but when it stays surley it must be sweet ?
ily kim xox
Zoe spillane
freeek
wxoxo
jg1544152 said 4 months and 7 days ago:
Very, very true Kim.
Excellent emotive words to emphasise your true meaning...love it!!
Much love Kim...x x x
fibs said 4 months and 7 days ago:
"The mind is a wounederful servant, But a terrible master." robin sharma
Find ur own individual way to bring light and love to this world. and dont let ur negective thoughts control u...instead delete them from ur head by filling positive thoughts and smiles all over the place!
And thanks to the BM family and the amazing miss kim!! ( i love her so much:(:() we can all achieve that!
Love the BM family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOve and light!!
Maya xoxoxo
pcdchile
Estrella82 said 4 months and 7 days ago:
Amazingly written blog as always, and unbelievably true - are you sure you are not a psychiatrist? :) Only kidding. It certainly makes you step back and assess yourself and your behaviour towards a potential mate, and perhaps understand why things went wrong in the past to learn from that.
I whole heartedly agree with everything you say, however (just to throw some debate in here) I think it is important not to be blinded by love as it is so easy to encapsulate yourself in a bubble and put the blinkers on. I was as open and honest as can be with my ex boyf, loved and trusted him with my life, I even used to encourage him to go out and see his mates if he hadn't in a while as I didn't want him to feel suffocated or that he didn't still have his own life. I thought I was being a good girlf! I guess I judged him by my own standards, knowing how much I loved, trusted and respected him and wouldn't dream of cheating.
He on the other hand pretended not to mind me seeing my mates, but would often go in a mood with me afterwards. As time went on he got worse - suspicious, jealous, so insecure it was unreal, he was that close to hitting me at my work Xmas party once, just because I had a chat with a friend's boyf and wasn't dancing with him! I knew he had read my phone as we had had rows about a couple of male mates texting me, god knows how many times he actually read it, but clearly there was never anything there to incriminate me. After 5 years together I would ask myself, and him - why doesn't he trust me after so long? Am I doing sth to make him doubt me? Turned out he was just judging me by his standards!
I actually ended it because I couldn't take the emotional abuse from him any more. Emotional and psychological abuse is a killer, and so under-estimated. Just because you can't see the wounds, doesn't mean it doesn't scar you just as deeply as physical abuse, the only problem is you hide them on the inside.
It was only several months after we split that I found out he had cheated on me frankly god knows how many times when we were together, and I never will know. He then continued the psycological abuse for the months after we split, stopping me from moving on, until the awful day I found out the truth. Ironic that that wasn't even the reason I finished with him, but the fact remained the outcome would have been the same.
So as I say, on the one hand I 100% agree with what you say Kim - you will only be truly happy when you are honest, open and respectful towards others. If my ex had been, then I'm sure he wouldn't have eventually pushed me away, and reading your blog makes me see so much torment in his life as a result of that ugly creature called Jealousy! But on the other hand, for those of us on the other side - how I was in my story above, I think it is equally important not to be naive or blinded by love. When I stepped out of the bubble it was as if I had new eyes, and I wished that I hadn't brushed any suspiscion under the carpet. I'm not suggesting we all go looking for things, or be the detective you rightly mentioned, but sometimes we need to open our eyes to things that are really staring us in the face. All I know is, if I had done this I wouldn't have been half as heart broken or suffered as much torment in my life since.
Life is too short for honest people to suffer at the hands of jealous people. I hope you don't mind me borrowing your quote, but it sums it up perfectly.
“You are the ruler of your own world and create your destiny”
Thank you Kim
Love always BM!
Emily
xoxox
arrajean said 4 months and 7 days ago:
wow!! kim! you're such an inspiration to me,,everyday i wish to see you in person,.
but it's such a sad thing that i didn't come in you're concert in the philippines
because i realy need to go back in italy,,it really depressed me alot,,+.+
you're blog really awesome,good luck in you're career..
love yah!
xoxo
Add comment
You need to be logged in to do this
You will need a Dipdive account and you will need to be
logged in to use this function. An account is free, let's create one right now!
I semi agree with you, however there are times when jealousy is a red flag for the relationship. Sometimes we can't put a finger on what is wrong, we just know something is up. So when that happens enough times, and we find ourselves wanting to turn into detective mode, it could be because there's reason to. Because there is something to find.
In either case though, when detective mode strikes, something is wrong. Whether that be because of your own insecurities, or because your significant other is giving you reason to doubt them and feel insecure. Sometimes there is good reason for those feelings to pop up and we shouldn't feel bad about feeling them. We have to learn to trust ourselves and our instincts more often. With a good relationship, secure feelings, and communication, as well as time, you can put the detective hat and magnifying glass away.
I don't think we give ourselves nearly enough time to get to know one another these days in relationships. It takes time to build trust and know that your significant other deserves that trust...or to learn that they don't.